10 Challenges Working Moms Have with Their Nannies

Being a working mom is already a difficult situation but when you add in a nanny, things get even more complex. How do you handle balancing the relationship- making it professional in such a private setting? What can you do to make it easier? Here are ten tips on common challenges with nannies and how to resolve them.

1. Establish a Business Relationship – Be professional.  Make sure you pay your nanny on time and in a professional manner. Some people think of a nanny as a paid friend, but that’s not true. You are her employer and should always treat her with professionalism and respect. Make sure that the relationship begins professionally as well. Make a contract that clearly lines out what both parties expect.
2. Communicate – One of the main problems parents and nannies face is a lack of communication. How can the nanny know what you expect if you do not ever tell her? Don’t assume anything. After all, you know what they say about assuming…
3. Provide clear direction — This is actually a part of communicating, but it’s so important that I gave it a separate section. If your nanny is falling short of your expectations, give her feedback. You may be feeling upset or resentful about something that the nanny did not even realize was an issue.
4. Pay well and offer bonuses for a job well done — In addition to paying nannies a fair wage, giving thoughtful bonuses, such as a gift card at their favorite coffee shop, can be used as a reward when nannies hit milestones or accomplish specific goals.
5. Motivate – Pay is not the only motivator. Be positive and uplifting. DON’T talk down to your nannies. If you respect them, they’ll respect you. Think about it- how would you like to be treated? And remember, a motivated nanny stays around longer.
6. Be home on time — Your nanny has a life outside of her work, and when you are running late, even by 15 minutes, it affects her plans. Try to be home on time and always pay your nanny for any extra time when you are late.
7. Work as a united front — Try not to contradict the nanny in front of the kids. When you are home with the nanny, let her run the show. Part of this is agreeing on the rules. If you cooperate beforehand, the children will never have an opportunity to exploit weakness.
8. Seek the nanny’s input — Give your nanny enough autonomy to do her job well. Talk with your nanny. Ask her how things are going and if she has any suggestions for how to make the days more enjoyable and easier for everyone. She’s been with your children all day, she might have some great suggestions that you would never have thought about.
9. Accept or move on – No nanny is perfect. Heck, even Mary Poppins annoyed her employer. What you have to do is decide. Is the issue large enough to fire her over? Have you discussed it clearly? People are just people. They have their own ways of doing things. If you can’t take it, then just move on. Don’t give yourself extra stress.
10. Let go – Speaking of moving on, sometimes it’s time to let go. If a nanny has become unsatisfied, burnt out, or otherwise unsatisfactory, just let go. Don’t worry; you will be able to find a replacement. It’s not worth your stress or trying to throw money at her. Burnout just happens. Part as friends and keep going.

So, there you go. Ten tips on how to make the most of your situation. And remember, the most important thing in this equation is your children. Your nanny is not there for you, she’s there for them. Make sure they are in a loving and comfortable environment, and don’t sweat the small stuff.

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